NFL NEWSFLASH
PATRIOTS PUTTING TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON SOCIETY
In their selfish pursuit of a season without any loses, The New England Patriots have tried to show that perfection is possible.
Humans have always lived with the realization that nothing or no one is perfect. People make mistakes. The future is uncertain. Our world is one where our greatest strength is to roll with the punches and weather the storm.
Yet here is a beyond snobbish group of jocks making all of us feel like a lonely fat kid riding home from the Prom on a Moped. At 16-0, our children can never come home with a B average or hand-me-down cars. Our elderly can only sob aloud when their meager retirement doesn’t cover their bills or they fall down the stairs and break a hip. Our bosses can clamp down on us even harder when we don’t make that deadline or eat lunch for 7 minutes too long. We’re not perfect, you know!
Well, the Patriots are. What’s wrong with you?
Sure, some can argue that perfection was achieved back in 1972 when the Miami Dolphins didn’t lose a game. But they had a player who couldn’t spell ‘Kick’, many of their African American players had those silly afros and even their head coach admitted a need for Nutrisystems.
Plus they played at a time when it was much harder to fix games. Winning big games over and over again with the same exact script is an obstacle that only ups the ante for the Patriots’ achievement. Surely, even the most brain-dead fan can say “Hey, the Giants are folding in the 4th quarter just like the Colts, Eagles and Ravens did! Almost on cue…”
And with more games being played, the Patriots in comparison to the Dolphins will wind up much more perfecter.
Our heroes are flawed and that’s what makes them heroes. They overcome whatever shortcomings to show us all we can do anything if we try as they did. They inspire us. For every grandiose feat there was an impossible obstacle.
Peyton Manning is on every commercial and the NFL’s most beloved star. But for years he couldn’t win the Big Game and even now has a smooched-in face. He lives with that every day. Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player who ever lived and yet he lives in shame at having to work with Cuba Gooding Jr. for his current TV fame. Jeff Gordon pees in his pants during a race and Brad Pitt made Angelina Jolie love him so much she stopped being bisexual.
Heroes. But not perfect. Yet here are these ‘patriots’ who have not lost a game this season and if the league wants its payoff for all the hype they claim does NOT benefit them, NE will sweep the playoffs and Superbowl as well. They have a QB who isn’t just a winner; he is the best QB statistically who ever played. As if that isn’t overkill, he throws to a felon who is now the greatest WR who ever played the game. Their linebackers collect not only huge paychecks but social security just to rub it in. Their head coach is the latest fashion plate for an entire generation of men and the team itself is so popular, they have had their own listing on the ESPN news scroller for over a month, making them a sport even with baseball, basketball and hockey.
As a parent, a husband, an American, I don’t see how we as a society will survive after this selfish pursuit. How do I look my child in the eyes and explain to him pimples happen when one reaches puberty? How do I calm my wife when she gets a flat tire? Who do I vote for in our upcoming presidential elections?
I see a life where suicide rates will soar and people hide themselves in drugs and drink. Teenage pregnancies will be widespread much farther than just the Spears girls. I see gas companies accidentally lowering prices at the expense of grotesque profits. I see religious institutions having to replace age old traditions with consultations such as ‘Tom Brady forgives you.’
Where is there to go when perfection exists?
I hope you’re happy, New England Patriots. You have successfully taken down the entire history and future of mankind. Yes, I know that terminology is politically incorrect because it doesn’t give an equal nod to women. But I messed up. I just didn’t know how badly until I was shown how we should all be 19-0.
Copyright © Gregory L Hall 2008